Sirius' Darkest Secret
by icantdeletethisaccountargh
Summary: But there was one secret that Sirius would take to the grave. Even on pain of torture, the truth would never come out. /Not SL pairing/
1. The Incident

Sirius Black never ever, ever, ever lied to James Potter

He told him that he was the one to accidentally set his trunk on fire right before they left for the holidays.

He told him that he wasn't a fan of Mrs. Potters cooking.

He even told him that he had shagged his ex-girlfriend only two weeks after their summer breakup.

But there was one secret that Sirius would take to the grave. Even on pain of torture, the truth would _never_ come out.

As far as the world was concerned, nothing had happened that night.

The only living, breathing soul that knew about his secret was a one Miss Lily Evans. Mostly because she_ was_ his secret.

In his defense, it was _before_ they were so happily in love and frolicking around the castle like a perfect little couple should. And it had been to help! Really, it had. 

* * *

><p>The corridors of Hogwarts always seemed twice as dark when one as trying to see who else was there. Sirius melted into the shadow between two paintings when his curiously strong ears picked up the sound of someone running. He held wand fast merely because of instinct; he couldn't go out causing trouble- the others were expecting him back in the common room as soon as he finished his part of the prank. He waited with bated breath.<p>

"Who's there?" whispered a tiny voice from some ways off. Sirius relaxed drastically and lowered his wand, allowing himself to collapse against the cold stone wall. Confidently, he made the end of his wand glow dully and stepped towards the stalk-still silhouette of Lily.

"Evans, rule number one of sneaking around: you never ask 'who's there.'" he informed her. Lily ducked her head into the light to get a better look at who was confronting her. Relief took over her nervous expression and she gave him a huge smile.

"I wasn't worried. I just made work to put a bunch of Slytherins in their place."

"And by 'in their place' you mean…"

Lily fiddled with her wand bashfully, tapping one toe behind her other foot and giving him wide, innocent eyes.

"Let's just say I'll be in deep shite if I get caught by a professor tonight. I'm not even on patrol."

Ah. A great appreciation for James' feelings sprung up inside of him. The foxy little red-head was _Maraudering_ for lack of a better term.

"What about you?" she asked, nodding her chin at him expectantly. Sirius returned her knowing look with a trade-mark smirk.

"Let's just say you're not the only one that would be in deep shite."

She made a sound of understanding and together they began to make their way down the dark hall.

"Well I suppose it would be terribly hypocritical of me to give you detention, huh?"

"Not to mention you'd have to report that _you_ were out past midnight and not on patrol."

Lily gave an over-dramatic sigh. "I _do_ hate all that paper work. Really though, you didn't see me tonight. I'd really rather not have to own up to that little, er..._Incident_."

Sirius pressed her to tell him what had happened because his burning curiosity wouldn't allow him to let go of the fact that perfect Prefect Lily Evans was not only out of bounds, but had gotten into a tift with some Slytherins and _won_.

She was reluctant at first but, come on, he was Sirius Black.

It was an impeccably vague story of which she left out the beginning. Somehow, a confrontation with Rosier had come about, soon followed by one with a surprised Mulciber and then Avery. Sirius listened with wide eyes, nearly steering himself into a suit of armor as she explained her brilliantly-timed hex and clever, wordy escape.

"Well," he said with a dignified cough and righted the armor. "I'm pretty sure I should give you a telling-off for not getting your arse out of that situation but… I'm honestly too impressed."

Lily glowed at what she apparently deemed a grand compliment.

"Now it's _your_ turn, Black."

Sirius opened his mouth, a sharp remark on the tip of his tongue, when the distinct sound of footsteps sounded. From around the corner ahead of them, a very dim light had appeared. On instinct, his hand flew to his pocket. Right. Peter had the Map. He was sure it was a professor approaching by the light, but it made for highly inconvenient planning an excuse when he didn't know _which one_.

Lily obviously didn't have any experience with getting caught.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," she was muttering frantically under her breath, looking back and forth frantically. "I _can't_ get caught like this, Sirius. I just _can't_. Ooooh they'll know it was me, they will, I'm sure of it. If it's McGonagall! She'll _know_ I did it. Merlin, Merlin, Merlin."

Exasperated, Sirius put out his wand and forced Lily to look at him (or at least in his general direction) with both hands on her shoulders. The light was fast approaching from the opposing hall, nearly on top of them.

"We need an excuse Evans. Do you trust me?"

"Uuuh…"

He didn't wait for her answer. He pushed Lily back into the wall, mouth descending on hers in a hard kiss. Lily gave his chest a good punch.

"What the bloody hell?" she hissed.

"Make it look believable you idiot," he whispered back and moved to kiss her again. his hands tangled in her hair more to force her head to an easier angle than to revel in how soft it felt sliding behind his fingers. Taking his advice, Lily allowed herself to wrap her arms around his waist. Sirius, finding the situation beyond amusing, took her lip between his teeth, earning a shocked gasp. In retaliation, Lily grabbed his hips angrily and pulled them torturously into his.

_Where the bloody hell was that professor?_

Not that he wasn't _thoroughly_ enjoying current events but… well… he was enjoying current events.

A bit too much.

"My word!"

Lily made a good show of giving a little shriek and fixing her shirt that didn't actually need fixing. To her credit, she pulled of the ruffled, post-snog look _very_…

Very…

Oh… oh Merlin... He just snogged his best mates' girl. _And liked it_. The look of sheer terror on his face had the minute Divination professor suddenly going back on the 'harsh' threats he had ignored and assuring him.

"Now, now, I was young once, too! Back to the Tower for the both of you."

Sirius felt feverish and even put a hand to his forehead for good measure as they walked. This was bad. This was _bad, awful, terrible, deadly_. Why did he never think things through? Wasn't that what Moony was always lecturing him on? Merlin. Oooh…

"Sirius?"

Slack-jawed and wide-eyed, he looked to Lily's amused expression. The safety of Gryffindor common room did nothing for his nerves. He had just betrayed James in the worst way. He'd _kissed_ the love of his life before him. And _liked_ it.

Lily either wasn't aware of his inner turmoil or found it very musing because instead of consoling him (like she _should_, in his humble opinion) she threw a wink over her shoulder as she climbed the girl's staircase.

"Not bad."

That little minx was going to kill him.

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><p>Pages: 4<p>

Words: 1,221  
>Disclaimer: Don't own<br>Notes: For Whatchoofelloverfor for giving my other story such sweet reviews  
>It didn't come out quite as I had hoped and it could probably be turned into something way funnier, but here it is!<p>

(Also, I hope everyone can understand that at the end, Lily _isn't_ flirting, she's teasing because he's quite obviously distressed)


	2. The Solution

Sirius Black did not like Lily Evans. That fact should be made _very_ clear. He did _not_ harbor any feelings for her. That was all that mattered. That was how he slept at night. That little piece of knowledge was his one and only peace. He did _not _fancy her in any way shape or form.

Which explained why James Potter had found him in a broom cupboard with her, hands in her hair and virtually no space between them.

Dead-panned hazel eyes met scared grey.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hex you." 

* * *

><p>The week that followed "The Incident" was easily the hardest week Sirius had ever lived. He couldn't walk into his own dorm without sweating. Meals were only barely tolerable- not that he could bring himself to eat. Eating made him think of his mouth, which made him think of <em>Lily's<em> mouth, which made him think of that mind-blowing kiss which made him think of the unspeakable betrayal he had committed. He was despicable. He was disgusting. He didn't deserve the friendship James offered so willingly.

"Padfoot?"

"WHAT?" Sirius jumped upright, bits of egg flying through the air as he accidentally threw his fork. He was met by several pairs of confused, or amused, eyes. Sirius cleared his throat.

"Yes, Prongs?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain why you've been expecting something terrible to happen at any moment?"

_No_! He was on to him. Was he really being that conspicuous? For sure, he was better at handling the stress than that. He was a Marauder for crying out loud! A _proud_ Marauder who specialized in charming people and getting his way.

It upset him to no end that Lily was acting more marauder-esque than him.

"Maybe he's still scared that McGonagall found that note you two lost?" she suspected with a light tone. James gave Lily a nervous laugh while Sirius balked for an entirely different reason.

"How'd you find out about that?" James questioned with a twitchy smile. Lily returned it with a brilliant one of her own.

"Found it myself and kept it for save blackmail," she said proudly.

James laughed loudly and patted her shoulder with a fond, "That's my girl." He then returned his attention to the uncommonly edgy boy sitting across from them. "See, no reason to get worked up, Pads."

_Right_. No reason to get worked up. He kissed bloody _Lily Evans_! And LIKED it! Of course there was reason to get worked up! He could almost imagine the look of betrayal on James' face when he found out that he, Sirius Black, best friend extraordinaire, was the one to discover what a cracking snogger Evans was.

But… wouldn't it be so perfect of James was the one to think that _he _had discovered it himself? Of course, the boy would be so chuffed to kiss _the_ Lily Evans, one and only love of his pathetic seventeen year old life, that he wouldn't have room in his Lily-filled mind to suspect a thing.

It all made perfect sense.

"My, aren't you looking dashing today, Prongs m'boy. Isn't he looking dashing, Evans?" Sirius smiled at the two and flourished a piece of toast at his best mate. Lily and James looked at each other with matching expressions of confusion.

"I… I guess?" was her lame response. Sirius gave a great sigh of exasperation as if she was supposed to find him undeniably attractive right that second just because he'd pointed it out (which, actually, was his intention). "Anyway, I'll see you guys later. Arithmancy this morning."

Lily grabbed her books and left like she did every other Tuesday morning. James went about eating his eggs, eyeing Sirius from across the table and chewing slowly. Sirius gulped, not liking the contemplative look.

"She didn't disagree," he finally said quite cheerfully. Sirius let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and the two set off for History of Magic.

The hour of pure nothingness gave Sirius apt time to formulate a plan. Next was Transfiguration with Lily and Remus. If they always arrived before her, there was a chance to create an excuse and cut her off before she got there. It would be the only time he'd be able to get her alone (bloody Head students working _together_). He could use that short amount of time to convince her to snog his best mate. That was easy enough, right? It's not like there were years of hostility behind them.

It was a flawless plan.

"Man, that class drags on forever. I always knew Lils was smart for dropping it," James said, cracking his neck and stretching his arms behind his back. Sirius snuck a surreptitious look at his walk and pretended to look in his bag for something.

"Hey," he started in a voice that made up for his week of edginess. "I've got to run back to the tower real quick. I'll meet you in class." James shrugged noncommittally with a generic greeting and they went their separate ways in the crowded halls.

_Perfect_.

He dodged through the throng of students in the opposite direction of James, plunging through a secret passage way, and coming out somewhere just a ways from the Arithmancy classroom.

Poor, unsuspecting Lily never saw it coming.

One minute, she was walking along with some classmates, the next, a hand was covered over her mouth and she was pushed sideways into a broom cupboard. _Hard_.

"What the…" was her first baffled reaction. Sirius lit up the end of his wand and smiled down at her in the cramped room.

"Hullo there, Evans."

The next thing he knew, Lily was beating her tiny fists into his chest with alarming strength and hissing at him. "You bloody idiot! What do you think you're doing? We've got _class_ in just a few minutes!"

Sirius grabbed her flailing wrists, having not taken into account the little spitfire she was known to be.

"Calm down, will you? This'll only take a second and then we can be on out merry way."

The anger in Lily's green eyes flared menacingly in the wand light. She ripped one of her hands away and gestured to the door awkwardly in the tight space.

"There's no bloody _doorknob_ on the inside of this broom cupboard, you git. I'd have thought you of all people would know that."

Sirius leaned over Lily's shoulder to see that there was, in fact, no doorknob. He huffed at the mild inconvenience, then nudged Lily's shoulder.

"_You_ seem to be pretty familiar with this broom cupboard, Evans," he joked. She hit his shoulder again.

"I've been a prefect for over two years; do you know how many times I've had to let people out of here on my rounds? Honestly, Sirius, of all the broom cupboards in Hogwarts, you had to pick the one that we can't get out of?"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, we'll just yell for someone to let us out after I'm done talking to you."

Lily let her head thump back loudly against the door. The roar of students outside was becoming sparse. Soon, everyone would be in their classrooms. If they were lucky, there wouldn't be many people around to see such a scandalous thing when they had to be let out. A few more minutes wouldn't hurt anything.

"Alright, Black, you've got five minutes since you were so desperate to do this in the first place."

"Right. Yes, quite desperate. You see…" Sirius paused and looked Lily very gravely in the eye so that she could understand his utter anxiety. "I need you to snog James."

_Smack_

"Ow!"

"Sirius Black what has gotten into you? Did Potter put you up to this? Because if he did, locking me in a closet with someone I've already kissed isn't the best way to go about it."

"But that's just _it_, Lily!" he pleaded, cupping her hands between their squished bodies and begging her to understand with his impressive puppy-dog eyes. "I can't live with the guilt knowing that I've kissed my best mates girl ("I'm _not_ his girl!") I _need_ you to do this. You _owe_ me."

Lily scoffed, looking offended that he would suggest something as ludicrous as Lily Evans owing Sirius Black a favor. "I don't owe you anything. It's no big deal that we kissed. And besides, I've kept that note from McGonagall. I'd say we're even."

"The bloody note has nothing on what Prongs'll do to me if he finds out about us."

"There's nothing to find out! You kissed me to help us both out and got me out of trouble. He's sure to understand if you just explain it to…"

"_Got you out of trouble_," Sirius threw back at her, hands going to her cheeks now. "I couldn't care less about that note but you _owe_ me and I _need you to do this_. Come on Evans, it's not like you wouldn't enjoy it. You two have been flirting for _weeks _and…"

Suddenly, Sirius found the tip of a wand poking painfully into the underside of his chin, a murderous look in Lily's expression. He didn't back down, though, because he knew he was right. He stared back at Lily in determination, willing her to crack and agree. She had to. She was too kind and she fancied James and she owed him. She _had_ to.

It seemed like hours had gone by in that nerve-racking position (Lily was quite skilled at hexes, as he was well aware). But soon enough, Lily's cheek twitched and her eyes softened and she lowered her wand.

"Just one kiss, then?"

Sirius could have kissed her (but he was far too afraid of that, no matter how good it had been). He opted for hugging her tightly and ruffling her hair a little on either side of her head.

At that precise moment, the door swung open and light from the hall illuminated a pokerfaced James. Map in one hand, wand in the other, he flourished it at Sirius' terrified expression.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hex you. Go on, one reason."

Lily, bless her soul, shoved Sirius hard away from her and knocked James's wand hand away from their faces. "Honestly," she scolded him. James looked like he was about ready to either yell, cry, or faint when she pointed an accusing finger at him. No words were spoken as she couldn't quite figure out how to reprimand him properly. Making a stubborn face, she wagged her hand back in forth several times before heaving a sigh. She grabbed James' tie and began to drag him down the hallway.

"We've got some snogging to do, Potter," she said matter-of-factly. James threw a look of elated surprise over his shoulder at Sirius before trotting off after Lily, bent down to her level and being dragged away like a lost puppy.

With a look of absolute relief, Sirius slid down the wall of the broom cupboard.

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><p>Pages: 5<br>Words: 1,845  
>Disclaimer: Don't own<br>Notes: Hooray! What did you think?


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